“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
-George Bernard Shaw
Why are we afraid to be ourselves?
There’s a lot of things that’s going on inside my mind right now, but something is dominating. I always ask myself, “who am I really?”. I can no longer remember the first time I took a stand for myself, or maybe I never did- but whatever.
I’m an ordinary person. A high school student who has average marks- average personality below average body. .
Ever since I was young I always get told that I’m too skinny to move around, and it made me weight-conscious. At school, I always get anxious during PE classes because my classmates always teases me that I might break if I run, jump, or dance; even at present. I’m always told that I’d look better if I’ll gain more weight. Sometimes I get called names- anorexic, clothes hanger, bones, stick… and the list goes on.
Me being skinny is my biggest insecurity. It made me compare myself to other people all the time- and it hurts. The anxiety grew and grew until I started insulting myself as well in front of other people. At first I thought it was fun, but eventually I realized that I’m just hurting myself. I hated myself. I’m afraid to tell people that I get really offended whenever they say something that I’m NOT and something that’s not within my control because my situation might get worse. I know that I should just be a good sport, but it’s really hard to cope with it especially if they’re doing it on purpose. I always end up comforting myself whenever I feel insulted and hurt. If only I were this or that maybe I wouldn’t experience all these terrors. Yeah right? I’m always frantic, unreasonable, and problematic.
Sometimes I think I’m just delusional and vain, but no- it’s really happening.
DRAMA QUEEN ALERT!!!
I know myself more than anyone,yes, but I’m also vulnerable.
For me, I’m afraid of being myself because I fear of being humiliated- but that fear doesn’t define who I really am and those will never slow me down. I might be different, but that’s the way I’m created. That’s the essence of diversity and I should be happy about that. I’m really grateful for what and where I am today. I’m loving myself more and more everyday because I know that there’s a whole lot of people who’ll appreciate and support me through thick or thin. There’s so much to be thankful of: life, friends, family, and goals.
We all have insecurities, but that shouldn’t stop you. Don’t let it get in the way and don’t forget to “Be YOU”.
Thank you very much for hanging out with me today and for reading this blog post.
If you liked it please click thebutton below. If you enjoy my posts please share, stick, and follow around. I hope that I’ve informed you in some way.
I’ll see you around! ♡
Be a part of our ever growing family by clicking
on the right panel of this BLOG.
It’ll be much of help and I promise to never let you down.
Thank you very much in advance and have a nice day! -Jay
Posted 11/13/2016 11:33PM